4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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