did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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