I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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