I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
