I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
