why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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