Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
