But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
