I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
