You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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