i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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