Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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