I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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