Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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