Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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