Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
