i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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