Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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