i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
