you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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