accomplished twins. life is a go
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
