Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
