Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
