I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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