This is not my ceiling
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
where does the pee come out of this thing
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
