Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
