he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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