I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
