He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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