good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
