it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
