Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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