If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
His nipple licking is glorious
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