i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
