I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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