ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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