you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
