i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
