So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
