come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
