Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
