I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Small penises have feelings too.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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