How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Shame is for Republicans.
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