her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
