she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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