Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
