Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
