It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
