Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I will pee on everything he values.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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