I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
